A couple were going out for the evening. They’d got ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc….
The taxi arrives and as the couple go out the cat shoots back in. They don’t want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase [...]
16. Sits on your newspaper in the morning and carefully reads the coded message that Garfield sends out every day.
One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.
16. Sits on your newspaper in the morning and carefully reads the coded message that Garfield sends out every day.
15. Used to sleep on top of TV, now monitors CNN 24 hours a day.
Excerpts from a Dog’s Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
Cats really do live in their own world, and that world includes its own set of Laws of Physics.
Law of Cat Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse.
A dog lives in your house and sees that you give it food and water and says to itself, “Wow, these beings give me food and water without my having to do anything. They must be gods!”
A cat lives in your house and sees that you give it food and water and says to itself, [...]